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Archive for the ‘Iowa State’ Category

In honor of Iowa Hate week preceding the Cy-Hawk Series football game between Iowa and Iowa State, and for those not familiar with the many sub-species of hawk fan, I present to you the eight types of Iowa Hawkeye Fans:

The Bandwagon Hawk Fan

This is the largest group of Iowa fans. They are mostly made up of people who don’t really care what team they cheer for (’cause they’ll never get into college anyway) so they head to WalMart, buy a $5 t-shirt, and “ta-da!” instant Hawk fan. They love to paint everything black and yellow (houses and cars included) and can commonly be found in houses like this:

The Tavern Hawk

This is a subset of the bandwagon Hawk fans. Their native habitat is small, dingy bars in small town Iowa. They will talk trash anyone who dares to wear clothing representing other universities. They would vote for Ricky Stansi for president in a heart beat. They are usually nine beers into the night when you talk to them, so they’ll gladly challenge you to a fight if you make one snide remark about Kirk Ferentz, and his son, FreeRentz.

Ed Podolak (Iowa radio analyst and taver Hok) checking out the goods

The Illini Reject

Sad Illinois Reject

Much like the saying, “If you can’t go Greek, go TKE”, for suburban kids in Chicago, they say, “if you can’t get into Illinois, go to Iowa”. They figure that if their ACT and SAT scores can’t get them where they want to go in life, they might was well have fun at the #1 party school in the country. BTW, Iowa State has more in-state students than Iowa and Northern Iowa combined. The Illini reject Iowa fans are partially to blame. Most of the blame can be put on the fact that ISU is just simply a superior school.

The Deranged Farmer

Back in the day when the Iowa fanbase’s huge egos were somewhat justified during the Hayden Fry era, the Midwest was in the middle of huge farm crisis. Fry decided that he could help farmers by putting a piddly little sticker on their helmets that said “ANF” for America Needs Farmers. It was a half-hearted PR attempt at best.

The problem is that some delusional farmers don’t actually realize that the University of Iowa does little else for farmers or the agriculture industry than produce the bankruptcy lawyers they need when their farms go under. Iowa State is the Land Grant institution in the state of Iowa, which by definition means ISU’s mission is to promote agriculture and development through science, education, and extension to Iowans. ISU is a world leader in agricultural research. They have nationally recognized programs in agronomy, animal production, ag business, horticulture, etc. Iowa… not so much.  If you’re a farmer, there’s really no excuse to cheer for Iowa over ISU. Doing so would sort of be like an oil tycoon investing in carbon credits, it just doesn’t make sense. Luckily the fine folks at Wide Right Natty Lite don’t let Iowa get away with their stupid PR stunt. They’ve produced the ISU “AHF” for Actually Helping Farmers.

Ahfshirts_medium

The Panther Hawk

Goes to UNI… Iowa fan when it’s convenient, UNI fan when it’s not. (Exhibit A to go w/ pic below)

Northern Iowa fans, often jealous of people who attend schools with FBS level football, choose to be UNI students by day, and Hawk fans by night. Often their fandom depends on the outlook on the upcoming season. If Iowa basketball is in a slump, they decide to cheer for their Alma Mater. Iowa’s going to the Orange Bowl… they’re all of a sudden Hawk fans. Like bandwagon Hawk fans, Panther Hawks choose their loyalty too, only their loyalty can be bought by wins.

The “Where’s Waldo” Hawk

The Where’s-Waldo Hawk is the Hawk fan that attends some sporting event that has no connection whatsoever to the Iowa Hawkeyes, but they still sport their Hawk clothes, and maybe even a flag like the guy at this Boise State-Virginia Tech game:

Mistaken Steeler Fan

The mistaken Steeler fan is someone who either chooses to cheer for Iowa out of laziness and not wanting to buy a new wardrobe, or legitimately gets confused between seeing Pittsburgh and Iowa on TV.

“I didn’t realized the Steelers play on Saturdays!… And why are they losing to Northwestern?”

The Actual Alum

This is the rarest type of Iowa fan. They move out of state as soon as they graduate because they either 1) aren’t from Iowa to begin with (see Illini Reject), or 2) are too embarrassed to be associated with all of the Bandwagon and Tavern Hawk fans in the state of Iowa.

The rarest of rare Hawkeye fans – sort of like Sasquatch or unicorns.

#BEATIOWA

BTW, if you want more Iowa Jokes, I recommend you read my Iowa Joke post from a few years ago.

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Hello all,

Stacy and I sent out our annual Groundhog Day card and letter last week to family and a few friends. Since I’ve been a little too busy with grad school lately, I haven’t really updated this blog as often as I should, despite there being a lot of big news in the last 12 months. I’ll repost our letter here. Consider this our “catching up on blog posts” post.

The 2013 Moorberg family Groundhog Day card.

The 2013 Moorberg family Groundhog Day card.

Happy Groundhog Day everyone!

It’s that time of year again when giant rodents all over America come out of hibernation and predict the change of seasons for all of us based on the sighting of their own shadow. That also means it’s time for us to reflect on the last year. This last twelve months have been pretty busy for us. Stacy is still working at the hospital. She’s also been busy working on a variety of crochet projects, including some afghans that will be auctioned off to benefit the Relay for Life. Some other notable projects include an afghan wedding gift for Colby’s mom and husband (more on that later), and some bearded stocking hat Christmas presents for Colby and his brothers.

Colby has been busy with school and research. As you read this he’ll be just finishing up with his preliminary exams for his PhD, and will be preparing for the oral exam to become a “PhD candidate”. He’s also been homebrewing in his free time, making a bunch of different styles of beer and hard cider. Some notable recipes include the “10YR Amber Ale” (a soil science inside joke), the “Hot Mess Pale Ale” (included 10 roasted Anaheim peppers that were soaked in tequila prior to fermentation), and the “MoBro American Black Ale” which was brewed during “Movember” (more on that later) and  included five ounces of hand-picked hops from the Department of Soil Science’s hop field trial plot.

For Memorial Day weekend, Stacy’s sister, Brenda and her kids, and sister, Corey came to visit us. It was the kids’ first time to the coast so we took them down to Wilmington, NC. There we visited the USS North Carolina (picture on the card). We also checked out the North Carolina Aquarium, and then headed to the beach so they could swim in the ocean for the first time.

In June we took a trip to the North Carolina Zoo for our fourth anniversary. It was a really fun trip, and one of the best zoos we’ve visited. We also did some traveling out of the state for some big events on Colby’s side of the family. In May we flew to Iowa to see Colby’s brother Matt graduate from Iowa State University with his bachelor’s degree in Agronomy. It was nice to have a break and get back to Iowa at the end of the semester to partake in the celebrations. Congrats to Matt!

In September we flew to Wisconsin to participate in Colby’s mom’s wedding. Ruth married her husband, Buck in the end of September in an outdoor ceremony with the foliage at peak colors. It was a pretty wedding, and a great opportunity to see all of the Green family. Congrats to her and Buck!

In November Colby’s grandmother, Dorothy turned 90 years old. It’s quite the achievement! We couldn’t make it back because Colby still had class, but we were celebrating from afar and over the phone. Also in November, Colby’s dad came down to Raleigh to celebrate Thanksgiving with us. All three of us also had a blast that weekend at a NC State football game (two of the pictures on the card).

There isn’t too much news from Stacy’s side of the family, other than everyone is healthy, especially Stacy’s dad who is now three years cancer-free!

Our beagle, Maisie is doing well. She’s had a new buddy for the last twelve months though. Forrester (the tri-color beagle on the card) is our current foster dog with the Triangle Beagle Rescue, and is our sixth foster dog so far. He is a senior foster dog who is around 11 years old. The older foster dogs don’t usually get adopted too quickly, so we’ve had him for a while. If we still have him by the time Colby finishes his PhD, he just might end up becoming a permanent member of the family.

As usual, we’ve done a lot of cycling this year. We took part in just one charity ride though.  We rode in the inaugural Velo4Yellow bike ride in September which raised money for the Livestrong Foundation. Off of the bike, Colby also organized a team in his department for “Movember”, a charity that raises money and awareness for men’s health issues, testicular and prostate cancer in particular. For “Movember”, each of the participants, referred to as “MoBros”, grow mustaches during the month of November. The team of four MoBros raised over $760! Colby also helped out with his Masonic Lodge’s barbecue fundraisers that sell hundreds of plates of Eastern Carolina style barbecue and brought in over $8,000 for the North Carolina Masonic Home for Children, and the Masonic and Eastern Star Home.

As you can tell, it has been a busy year. During all that, Colby has also been feverishly working on his PhD research. He submitted his first paper for peer review last November, but is still waiting to hear any news on that paper. He’s also currently working on finishing up his three PhD experiments, which will be wrapped up by the end of the spring semester. The plan is for Colby to complete the data analysis and writing as soon as possible, successfully defend his dissertation, complete his PhD, publish his current research, and become gainfully employed by the end of 2013. There’s a lot to do between now and then though, as Colby’s PhD adviser would surely tell you.

We hope all of you are doing well, and we’re always happy to get news from home – whether it is over the phone, in a letter, in an email, or on a Google+ hangout. We’d love to hear from you! If you want to keep up with us, Colby posts occasionally on <colbyandstacy.wordpress.com> with big news, or interesting stories and adventures. Colby also has his soil science blog <colbydigssoil.com>, just in case you want to learn about soil science, or Colby’s research.

 Happy Groundhog Day!

Stacy, Colby, and Maisie

So that’s our news from the last 12 months. As it turns out, Punxsutawney Phil didn’t see his shadow, so he is predicting an early spring. However Sir Walter Wally, the groundhog from the North Carolina Natural Science Museum, did see his shadow, so apparently North Carolina is still a ways away from spring weather. Also, Foursquare offered a Groundhog Day badge.

Happy Groundhog day everyone!

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This Saturday is the annual match-up between the Iowa State University Cyclones and the University of Iowa Hawkeyes. Stacy and I are both proud ISU alums, and thus, we hate the Hawkeyes. Many fans of both teams have termed the week leading up to the game “hate week” because of all of the trash talk between the two fan bases. To contribute to the Hawkeye hate, I’ll send you to a post I did in 2010 for Hawkeye jokes. That post is annually my most popular post on this blog.

As an example of the usual discourse of “hate week”, check out this shirt being sold by the comical ISU fan blog called Wide Right and Natty Light:

HATE WEEK BEGINS: Celebrate With A Trolly AHF Shirt!

Which is one of the best “trolling” t-shirts I’ve seen, and an obvious reference to the Hawkeyes’ ANF (America Needs Farmers) stickers:

I’ve always thought those stickers were dumb (coming from a University that doesn’t even have an agriculture program) and were likely just a ploy to get more fans among the Iowa farmers.

Aside from the jokes, I’m predicting a one to two-touchdown win for the Cyclones. I’m also predicting the Iowa fan base (and my two Iowa fan brothers) to look something like this afterwards:

Beat Iowa! GO CYCLONES!

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This is a shameless plug for a product being sold by a company that one of my college buddies, Dane, and his brother, Westin, started. It is called “The Bev Barge”, and it is being sold by Weekend Products.  Dane is one of my college buddies and a Triangle Fraternity brother from Iowa State.

The Bev Barge is a great idea for a product in my opinion. I’m sure Dane got the idea from our “cabrewing” adventures of floating down the Des Moines River in canoes and drinking some frosty, adult beverages. Anyway, the Bev Barge, as you can see in the pictures, is basically a floating table/bar top with a cooler for frosty adult or frosty kiddy beverage, a place for a shade umbrella, places to dock your inner tube, and most importantly – cup holders. Here are some pictures of the Bev Barge, followed by a you tube video of it in action.

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You can read all about the details for the Bev Barge at the link above. Because Dane seems to have the weird ability to destroy just about anything he puts his hands on, you can be assured that it is built to be indestructible (i.e. Dane-proof).

If for no other reason than to buy it because the Bev Barge is awesome, Dane is also engaged to get married this summer to his fiance Kelly who is training to be a pilot in the Air Force. Dane also recently signed up for the Army Reserve in Wisconsin. Sounds the just the kind of entrepreneur you want to support doesn’t he?

You can buy yours from Weekend Products, or through Amazon or all of the finest boating supply websites. It’s just in time for the Memorial Day weekend too!

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On Friday, Stacy and I went to a gymnastics competition at Reynold’s Coliseum on NC State’s campus. The teams competing were Iowa State, NC State, and George Washing University. This was the first live ISU sporting event we’ve had the opportunity to attend since moving to Raleigh, so that was exciting. Iowa State ended up winning the overall competition 193.250 points to NC State’s 193.175. GWU had a score of 190.300. You can read more about the meet at Cyclones.com: No. 17 Iowa State Gymnasts Sweep Three-Team Meet. There was actually a couple dozen ISU fans that were there. We think that most of them were family of some of the ISU athletes that traveled to see the event. One of the ISU gymnasts is from Charlotte. According to Cyclones.com, Jacquelyn Holmes is from Charlotte:

The night belonged to Iowa State senior gymnast Jacquelyn Holmes who was returning to her home state at the meet.  The Charlotte, N.C., native posted an event-winning 9.800 on bars and delivered a career-best 9.775 on beam.

Apparently the coach had scheduled the competition here in NC because Jacquelyn was going to be a senior and wanted to compete in her home state.

The completion was fun to watch. It was the first gymnastics competition we’ve seen since I was still attending ISU. Here are some pictures from the event:

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GO CYCLONES!

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This Saturday is the final conference matchup between the Nebraska Cornhuskers (formerly known as the Nebraska Bugeaters… yes really, see here) and the Iowa State Cyclones. Cyclone fans, including myself, are a little sore about Nebraska getting all worked up (because they couldn’t beat big, bad Texas) and forgetting 100+ years of tradition for the likes of the Big 10. I was once a Husker fan as a kid. I even cheered for them when they weren’t playing the Cyclones after I enrolled at ISU. Now all I care is that Iowa State gets 6 wins and a second bowl game in Paul Rhoads’ second year, and that Nebraska doesn’t leave the conference with any hardware, i.e. Big 12 North championship and a birth in the Big 12 championship game. Last year ISU beat Nebraska 9-7 with Nebraska giving up 8 forced turnovers. A win for ISU would ensure a bowl game, and a loss for the Bugeaters would diminish their chances at the Big 12 North championship. With that frame of mind, and the popularity of my earlier Hawkeye Jokes post, I present to you some Nebraska Cornhusker jokes.

Enjoy,
Colby

(author’s note: I have many Husker fans in my family. These jokes are only in jest and I fully expect the same in return regarding the Cyclones  – but you’re not allowed to use these jokes back at me by just changing the schools in the joke. By the way, I’ll cheer for Nebraska when the play the Hawkeyes next season.)

Cornhusker Jokes

Why did Nebraska join the Big 10?

Because the Huskers couldn’t count to 10 either!

*****

A man fell in love with the girl of his dreams. They were perfect for each other, except for one minor flaw: She was a Hawkeye and he was a Cyclone. He decided to make the ultimate sacrifice and become a Hawkeye fan. 

He went to the doctor and asked if there was an easy way to do this. The doctor replied, “Yes, it’s a very simple procedure. What we do is go in and remove half your brain. When you wake up, you will be a Hawkeye fan.”

The man agrees, and the next week goes into surgery. After he wakes up the doctor comes up to him concerned. “Sir, I apologize, but there was a mix-up with the scalpel. Instead of removing half your brain we removed 3/4 of it. How do you feel?”

The man sat up, looked around, and said “GO HUSKERS!”

*****
How do you know that the toothbrush was invented in Nebraska? 

Because if it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called the “teethbrush.”

*****
How many Nebraska students does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 

One, and they get four credits for it.

*****
Why do they not serve ice in drinks at Husker games anymore? 

The student who knew the recipe graduated

*****
A female ISU graduate is on an airplane. A male passenger sits next to her, and immediately begins to shamelessly hit on her. This goes on for half the flight. Finally, during a lull in the conversation, the girl says, “So, you graduated from Nebraska, huh?” 

The man replies in a surprised voice, “Yes, yes I did! How did you know? Was it my wit? My sophistication? My savior faire?”

“Nope,” the girl says. “I saw your class ring while you were picking your nose.”

*****
A Texas fan, a Nebraska fan, and an Iowa State fan were out riding horses one day. At one point, the Texas fan pulled out a bottle of expensive bourbon, took a long swig, threw the bottle to the ground, pulled out a pistol and shot it. 

“What are you doing?” asked the Nebraska fan. “That was perfectly good whiskey.”
“In Texas, we have more whiskey than we need,” said the Longhorn fan, “And bottles are cheap.”

They rode along for a while, and the Nebraska fan was thinking. Then he pulled out a bottle of champagne, opened it, took a swig, threw down the bottle, pulled out his pistol and shot the bottle.
“What are you doing?” asked the Cyclone fan. “That was perfectly good champagne.”
“In Nebraska,” said the Husker fan, “We have more champagne than we need, and the bottles are cheap.”

They rode along for a while, and then the Cyclone fan pulled out a bottle of beer, drank the whole thing, put the bottle back in his saddlebag, pulled out his pistol and shot the Nebraska fan.
“What are you doing?” asked the Texas fan.

“In Iowa, ” replied the Cyclone fan, “we have more Husker fans than we need, but bottles are worth a nickel a piece.”

*****
Why does all of the corn in Iowa lean to the east? 

Because Nebraska blows and Illinois sucks!

*****
During the battle of Little Big Horn, Custer asked his Indian scout for an assessment.
Scout: Well General I’ve got good news and bad news.
Custer: Give me the bad news first
Scout: There are thousands of Indians here who are well armed. We are virtually surrounded and almost out of ammo. It looks very, very, bleak.
Custer: Oh, that does sound bad, but what is the good news?
Scout: Well, it looks like we won’t have to go back across Nebraska……
*****
This one was only good until 1993 — 

Why did Tom Osborne pour his cereal on a plate?
He lost his bowls.

*****
What’s the best thing to come out of NE? 

I-80

*****
Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Nebraska library? Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours
*****
What’s the best part of Nebraska? 

Dead center; any way you go, you’re leaving.

*****
Breaking News!!!!
Nebraska Football Coach Bo Pelini will only dress 10 players for the ISU/NU game.
The rest can actually dress themselves!
*****
Colorado and Nebraska have decided to merge into one state. Nebraskans gain the mountains, and Colorado gets a football team.
*****
I saw a Nebraska state quarter the other day… It was blank
*****
More Funny Stuff
That’s it for jokes but here are some other funny things on the interwebs:
Cyclone Fanatic message board: Nebraska Look Alike Thread
Lastly, a blog that I follow is called Wide Right and Natty Light. It is a comical look at ISU Cyclone fandom, as a well as a tounge in cheek mockery of the other Big 12 (and former) schools. Here’s their recent Nebraska-related posts:
Lastly, I heard that the HyVee in Ames is selling “Big Red” turnovers in the bakery all week. Hopefully they’re selling them in 8-packs.

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This Saturday is “Farmageddon”, the annual football match-up between the agricultural powerhouses Iowa State and Kansas State. This game is big because it is the opening game to Big 12 conference play for the Cyclones. This game is more than just that though. This last spring the Big 12 came ridiculously close to being torn to shreds by other more lucrative conferences which also threatened to break up most of the original Big 8 schools. The Nebraska Cornhuskers Bugeaters left the Big 12 North, and its century old tradition with its sister schools of the original Big 8, for the Big 10’s greener  pastures – paper green that is. Note that Nebraska was once called the Bugeaters circa 1900 and have since been renamed the Cornhuskers. I will from now on refer to Nebraska as the Bugeaters as a sign of my lack of respect for their lack of respect for tradition. Colorado also left (but no one really cares about them). The threat of breaking up the rest of the original Big 8 is real and there is a need to strengthen our Big 8 tradition with rivalry games. The Farmageddon game is one way to do that.

The game this year will be play at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City, just like last year, which is a neutral location between Manhattan, KS and Ames, IA. You can read more about the game here at its Wiki page. There is an effort by both Cyclone and Wildcat fans to make the game a trophy game. Trophy games are a great way to strengthen a rivalry and emphasize tradition. Many college football trophy games exist. Here is a list of current ones listed on Wikipedia. There have been several created in the last decade to help spawn stronger rivalries and create tradition with new foes after conference realignment. Some examples include the Paddlewheel Cup between Cincy and Pittsburgh, started in 2005 to increase tradition amongst Big East teams following the football “poaching” by the ACC. Florida State and Virgina started the Jefferson-Eppes trophy to spawn tradition between the two then new ACC foes. And even recently, as the Nebraska Bugeaters move into their luxurious new Big 10 penthouse suite, the Wisconsin Badgers are making an effort for a new rivalry game.

As you can see, there is reason enough for new rivalries in this day and age, and the Farmageddon game between ISU and KSU is just the ticket. The primary reason I’m making this post is to encourage people to sign the petition to make the Farmageddon game a trophy rivalry ***which you can access at this link.***

Here are some more links to further discussion on this topic:

Cyclone Chronicles

Cyclone Fanatic – Trophy game petition

Cyclone Fanatic – Farmageddon trophy game poll

Wide Right and Natty Light (a comical blog about life as a Cyclone fan) – their hype about the rivarly game

Bring on the Cats (A K-State Blog) – It’s Finally Here: FARMAGEDDON!

Drovers

By the way, I realize that with the Hawkeye Jokes post (which set a record for the most hits per day on the blog – take that Matt and Joey (Colby’s brothers)), and this post makes two sports posts in a row, but I am not trying to make this into a sports blog. We’ve just been so busy lately that college football has been the only escape, and the only thing worth posting about.

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